Have you ever walked into a room feeling completely fine and walked out anxious, heavy, or off, with absolutely no idea why?
This week on FUCK Anxiety we're talking about empath anxiety, what happens when you're so sensitive that you absorb the emotional energy of the people around you, and end up carrying anxiety, sadness, or anger that was never actually yours to begin with.
I've felt things deeply since I was a kid, and it took me until about five or six years ago to understand that a lot of what I called my own anxiety actually belonged to someone else.
So let's talk about how to finally tell the difference, and how to let go of what isn't yours.
What You'll Learn About Empath Anxiety and Absorbing Emotions
- Why some of your anxiety, sadness, or anger might not even be yours: and how absorbing other people's emotions can quietly become your baseline
- The one question that reveals whether a feeling is actually yours: a simple test you can run the moment something shows up out of nowhere
- Why being highly sensitive or empathic is a nervous system wiring, not a weakness: and why it doesn't have to become your whole identity
- How the people closest to you can become your biggest source of absorbed anxiety: partners, kids, roommates, and the ripple effect of living in close range
- Simple tools to release energy that isn't yours: grounding, water, and a spoken release you can use tonight
- How to hold space for someone without drowning in what they're feeling: the difference between compassion and absorption
Listen to the full episode here
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SpotifyTop Takeaways on Empath Anxiety and Absorbing Other People's Emotions
1A lot of what you call your anxiety was never even yours
I've been someone who feels things more deeply than most people around me for as long as I can remember. Looking back at my childhood, this was happening to me even then.
Nobody named it for me. I didn't have a parent or a teacher sit me down and say, love, you're absorbing someone else's energy, here's what's happening and here's what to do about it. So I just assumed all of it was mine.
It wasn't until about five or six years ago that I finally understood what was actually going on. A lot of the anxiety I was feeling for most of my life wasn't even mine.
And once I realized that, it gave me so much relief. Because then I'm not crazy. I'm not just randomly pissy or sad or anxious out of nowhere. I picked something up, and I get to put it back down.
2Feelings don't come with a label on the jar
When the feeling arrives, it doesn't come with a name tag that says this agitation comes from your daughter, or this dread comes from your husband's bad day at work. It just arrives. And your body responds like it's yours. Your heart races. Your chest gets tight. You're overwhelmed out of nowhere.
My husband used to do this constantly. He would come home from work and instantly feel like I was in a bad mood, then spend the whole evening trying to fix something that was never actually broken between us.
It's kind of like this ripple effect. Your own energetic field starts overlapping with the people you spend the most time with, and you start feeling what they're feeling simply because you're close to them.
If you live with a partner or a roommate who is always anxious, and you've started wondering why you've suddenly become an anxious person too, this is exactly why.
3The clue is in the timing, not the story
Here's the key question you need to start asking yourself: is this mine?
One simple signal is if you're having a genuinely great day and suddenly, out of nowhere, you feel anxious, angry, sad, or self conscious. That shift is the clue. Strong feelings that arrive suddenly and don't match your moment usually aren't yours.
Did something actually happen to you to cause this? Or did you just walk into a room, get off a phone call, sit next to someone, and boom, there it is?
Instead of drowning in the feeling, you get to pause and ask the question first. That single pause is the whole practice.
4This is a gift, not just a curse, once you know how to use it
This past weekend I sat with my best friend after she lost her mom in a tragic accident. I wanted to be a space of light for her. On one of the last days, saying goodbye, the room was so full of grief and love tangled together that I almost went under with it.
And then I caught myself. This isn't mine. This is everyone's grief in this room. I let it go, right there, and stayed present for her instead of spiraling alongside her.
Being highly sensitive can be one of the greatest gifts you have, once you know how to use it. You feel people. You feel what they're experiencing beneath the surface. That's compassion, and it's one of the highest emotions we get to carry.
The goal was never to stop feeling. It's to feel what's yours fully, and release what isn't.
How to Stop Absorbing Other People's Emotions Tonight
Here's what I actually do, and what I want you to try the next time a feeling shows up that doesn't match your day.
Step 1: Go outside and ground
Put your bare feet on the grass, the dirt, the sand, or hug a tree if that's your thing. Nature wants to absorb what isn't yours. Let the earth pull it back down.
Step 2: Take a shower
Water is incredibly cleansing energetically. Imagine everything that isn't yours washing off your body and going down the drain, on purpose.
Step 3: Say it out loud, or just in your mind
I release whatever energy is not mine. I let it go. I return it with love to where it belongs. Simple, direct, said like you mean it.
Step 4: Ask the question in the moment
When a big feeling arrives suddenly, pause before you spiral and ask, is this mine? Where did this come from? Who was I just around?
Step 5: Make it a daily practice
This can't be a once in a while thing, especially if you're highly sensitive or empathic. Morning and evening, take a moment to release and protect your energy before you walk into a room, a conversation, or a situation.
And if you ever feel like people will think you're being dramatic for saying any of this out loud, just think it. You don't need permission from anyone else to put something down that was never yours to carry.
Common Patterns to Watch For
- Mistaking absorbed emotion for a personality flaw. Feeling everything deeply doesn't mean something is wrong with you. It means your nervous system is wired to feel more.
- Letting your closest relationships become your biggest leak. Partners, kids, and roommates you spend the most time with are often the source of the anxiety you assume is entirely your own.
- Skipping the question and going straight into the spiral. Reacting to a feeling before asking if it's yours keeps you tangled in something you were never meant to carry alone.
None of this is about blame. It's just about understanding what's actually happening in your body.
Reflect on This
- Think back to your childhood. Were you always the one who felt everything deeply?
- Who in your life do you feel the most drained by after spending time with them?
- How do I know if a feeling is actually mine?
- What if some of what you've been calling your anxiety wasn't yours at all? What would that give you?
Send me a DM and tell me the last time you felt something out of nowhere and it turned out it wasn't even yours.
Resources Mentioned in This Episode
- This episode draws on Sari's own lived experience with being highly sensitive, along with the tools she teaches her 1:1 clients for releasing energy that isn't theirs. If you want to go deeper on the research behind high sensitivity as a real, documented trait, Dr. Elaine Aron's work on the Highly Sensitive Person is the original research this field is built on.
- Your free tool: If overwhelm hits tonight, grab the Free 5 Minute Nervous System Reset. Use it the moment you feel a feeling that doesn't match your day, and let your nervous system come back to baseline.
Work With Me
So many women come to me thinking their anxiety is entirely about their life, their circumstances, their past. And a lot of it is. But some of it is energy they've been carrying that was never theirs to begin with.
In our 1:1 sessions we go into a hypnotic imagery journey together and start to unravel what actually belongs to you and what you picked up along the way. We release it at the root, not just on the surface, so your body actually learns how to tell the difference going forward.
If this is landing for you, let's map it out together on a Freedom Roadmap Session. No pitch. No pressure. Just clarity.
And if this episode met you where you are, do me a favor. Follow the show, download it, and leave a review on Apple Podcasts so another highly sensitive woman who feels exactly like you can find it.