Ep.86 Feeling Unworthy? Try This Simple Word Exercise

If you know you're worthy in your head but you just don't feel it, this one is for you.

Maybe you walk into a room polished and put together, and never let anyone see what's underneath. Maybe the control feels so tight because letting go feels like failing. This week on FUCK Anxiety I'm talking about feeling unworthy, and a simple word exercise I used in an event I hosted called The Self Love Chamber that shows you exactly how a limiting belief lives in your body, but how quickly you can retrain it to flip.

What if the answer isn't more understanding? What if it's a feeling you get to practice, and you could get a real taste of it in about 10 minutes?

I'm taking you inside the Self-Love Chamber, the first paid virtual group event I've ever hosted. And I'm being honest about how hard I came up against my own unworthiness while creating it.

Let's get into it.

Listen to the full episode here

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Top Takeaways on Feeling Unworthy and Limiting Beliefs

1. "Who the fuck am I to do this?"

Anytime I launch something, I come up against myself. And before the Self-Love Chamber, it was really fucking intense. Who the fuck am I to do this? Who am I doing this for? Is it even helping anyone?

And here's the honest truth I learned about myself in the process. Part of me needed this event because I needed to feel purposeful. I'd been feeling purposeless, and I thought creating an offering like this would fix it.

Of course it wouldn't. If that's truly what's underneath, the feeling is still there the second the event is over.

But I noticed the pattern before the event even started. I forgot who I really am. I can have the evidence right in front of me that I'm purposeful, and an hour later I'm back in the program of forgetting.

Every single person I've ever worked with, myself included, has this deep longing to feel worthy. To feel like we're enough. It's the root program underneath everything.

What are you hoping the next thing will finally fix?

2. Limiting beliefs: why knowing isn't enough

The Self-Love Chamber ended up being a small, intimate group of women. And it was perfect.

An intimate room changes everything. You don't have to show up as the perfect, put-together version of yourself that our culture keeps asking for. No titles. No makeup. No armor. Nothing to hide behind. And when one woman shares, it gives the next woman permission to do the same. Nobody's performing. You get to be seen in a way that's almost impossible in your everyday life.

That's where the real stuff came up. Because here's the thing about limiting beliefs. The conscious mind will happily explain them to you all day. Where it started. Why you do it. What it means.

But our subconscious speaks in feelings and words, not in analyzing and not in logic. A paragraph of reasoning will never carry the weight that one word and one feeling do.

That's why you can know you're worthy for years and still feel unworthy. You've been talking to the wrong part of you.

3. Forget or remember who you are

So in the room, instead of just talking about our limiting beliefs, we wrote them. One word, down the left side of the page, one letter per line, and the first word that came up for each letter.

My word was FORGET. And here's what came out:

Fake. Overbearing. Regretful. Glum. Exit. Test.

That's the energy I'm in when I forget who I am. When I forget, I'm fake, I'm overbearing, I'm regretful, I'm glum. I exit, I run, and I test. Those words don't feel good in my body, and I'm sure they don't feel good hearing them either.

The women on the call were stunned by how fast their words came out. Even something they'd known about themselves for years hit completely differently once they saw it on paper. That's radical honesty.

Then we flipped it. My opposite word was REMEMBER:

Radiant. Extra. Magnetic. Evolved. Mother. Beautiful. Everlasting. Revolving.

When you hear those words out loud, you feel them in your body. And when you look at the two lists side by side, it's so obvious. It's the choice we get in every single moment. Do I want to forget, or do I want to remember who the fuck I am?

4. You know the unworthy monologue by heart

We already know how to be the victim version of ourselves. We've rehearsed it for years. It's literally a monologue you could give without ever having to think about it. Your body knows every line by heart.

And it's really hard to become the most radiant, expanded version of yourself when your body only knows the other program.

We are far more practiced and rehearsed at the feeling we don't want than the one we do.

Awareness is the first step, but it's not enough. We have to practice. We have to rehearse the feeling we actually want, not once, but over and over every day. Meditation, hypnosis, breathing, daydreaming. I love to sit outside and daydream what my life would be like in that feeling.

And expect pushback. Your subconscious is going to kick and scream for a little bit, because it realizes you're pushing against it. That's normal. It means it's working. That's the moment you get to be the strongest and say, I'm not falling into that old version of myself again.

So could you rehearse this new feeling more than you've rehearsed the old one?

5. Never good enough? Meet the little girl who learned it

Every limiting belief comes from fear. Underneath unworthiness, purposelessness, distrust, feeling trapped, there's a fear. And it usually goes back to the first time you felt it.

For me, it was dance. I needed the teacher to say, that's beautiful. I needed to be in the front row. When I got the validation, I worked harder to get more. When I didn't, I worked even harder and told myself stories about who I needed to prove myself to be to be enough. I was scared that if I wasn't the best dancer, I wouldn't be acknowledged. I wouldn't matter.

In the Self-Love Chamber, I guided each woman to meet the younger version of herself, the one who first felt that feeling. To hug her. To ask what she was experiencing and what she needs to feel safe.

That little girl builds walls. She numbs out. She goes quiet, because it doesn't feel safe to feel. It's a safety mechanism that worked at the time, and we can't shame her for it. She did what she knew how to do.

But the walls that kept her safe then are an illusion of safety now. Would she want you living behind those same walls for the next 30 or 40 years?

Kids are so suggestible. Her subconscious was wide open, and she believed whatever she was fed. So now that you're the wiser, older version of her, what do you want to feed her? Can you let her know she's not alone anymore, because she has you?

How to Feel Worthy: The Simple Word Exercise

Here's the exact exercise we did in the Self-Love Chamber. Grab a pen and a piece of paper. This takes about 10 minutes, and you can do it tonight.

Step 1: Pick one limiting belief and boil it down to one word.

Unworthy. Forgetful. Trapped. Betrayed. Distrusting. If you're not sure, start with unworthy. It's the one we all carry.

Step 2: Write it down the left side of the page, one letter per line.

Then for each letter, write the first word that comes to mind. Don't think about it, and don't judge it. It can be ridiculous. It can make zero sense.

Step 3: Read it out loud and notice your body.

Be radically honest. Is this who you want to keep showing up as?

Step 4: Write the opposite word and do it again.

Put it right next to the first one on the other side of the page. If your word is unworthy, write worthy. If it's forget, write remember. Then read the two lists side by side. That's the choice you get to make in every moment.

Step 5: Tape the good list on your mirror and rehearse it.

Cut out your words and put them where you'll see them every day, so you recognize the old feeling when it shows up and remember what the new one feels like. Then spend 10 minutes a day in it. If you were a worthy person, how would you act? What would you think about? What would you do?

And one loving truth. It's not about being perfect. It's about showing up consistently, a little every day. Try on 1% more today. Then do it again tomorrow.

Reflect on This

• Why do I feel unworthy even when I know I'm not?
• How do I learn to feel worthy again?
• Why do I never feel good enough, even when I succeed?
• How has control been working out for you?

I would love to hear. Send me a DM and tell me the one word your limiting belief boiled down to, and what came out when you flipped it.

Resources Mentioned in This Episode

• The Self-Love Chamber, my small group event, and the word exercise we did inside it
• Your free tool: When the unworthy feeling shows up and you want to practice the new one, start with the Free 5 Minute Nervous System Reset. While you listen, think about the word you want to feel. That's five minutes a day of who you get to become.

And if this episode met you where you are, do me a favor. Follow the show, download it, and leave a review on Apple Podcasts so another woman who feels exactly like you do can find it.

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You're not broken. You're not behind. And you're not alone. If you made it here, that means something.

love you, Sari