Ep.78 Still Triggered After Years of Healing: The Loop No One Talks About

If something small goes wrong and you're already contracted, and stressed out, this episode is for you. Your brain isn't broken. It's just been trained to believe every doubt without question, and never question your hope.

This week I'm talking about why so many of us still feel anxious, even after therapy, after the books, after years of doing the actual work. Not because none of it worked. Because worst case scenario thinking isn't something that just goes away. It gets quieter. It waits. And then one random Tuesday, something small breaks and you're right back in it, because it's in your subconscious, waiting to see if you've mastered this yet.

I used to have fifteen panic attacks a day. Thirteen years of living braced for a disaster that never once actually happened. I've done the work since then. And this week my microphone broke, and I got to watch, in real time, whether any of that work actually stuck.

Let's get into it.

Top Takeaways on Worst Case Scenario Thinking and Why It Still Shows Up

1. This wasn't a panic attack. This was catching myself before it became one.

My microphone broke this week. Not a huge deal, except when I went to pull my usual stash of pre-recorded episodes, every single one of them was ruined. Unusable. Three days before this was supposed to go out, and I had nothing.

There was an older version of me that would have spiraled completely. Panicked. Shit, what am I doing, everything is falling apart. I could have used it as a reason to stop podcasting in general, this being a sign that i'm not suppose to do this...go into the victim mentality.....

I didn't go there. I bought a new mic, one I honestly should have upgraded a while ago anyway, I put my big girl panties on, and I got to work.

This is what catching it actually looks like. Not the absence of a hard moment. The moment you notice yourself about to write the disaster story, and you just... don't finish writing it.

That's the whole skill. Not never having the moment. Catching it before it runs the show.

2. Same circumstance, two different lenses: trust or fear

My husband lost his job this past summer. He was the sole provider for our family at the time. Big, real, scary circumstance.

He went straight to panic. I knew in my heart of hearts we were going to be okay.

Notice what I'm not saying. I'm not saying the circumstance was different for either of us. It wasn't. Same job loss, same family, same stakes. The difference wasn't the situation. The difference was the lens we each chose to look at it through, trust or fear.

And if we don't deal with fear at the root, it doesn't just go away because we got through this one circumstance. It keeps looping. Same reaction, new situation, over and over, like Groundhog Day, until the actual root gets addressed.

3. Control is a sign you're trusting yourself, not something bigger than you

I say this all the time now, and I need you to actually sit with it: control is a sure sign you're trusting yourself, not something bigger than you.

Ask most people if they believe in God, or the universe, or something bigger than themselves, and they'll say yes. Okay. Then would it actually work out if you let that bigger thing hold it, instead of gripping it with both hands yourself?

We've been so conditioned to look for what's wrong everywhere that we don't even let ourselves see what could go right. That's not a personality trait. That's a habit. And habits can change.

4. You interrogate your hope. You never interrogate your doubt.

My friend Nikki Dean said something to me recently that I haven't stopped thinking about. We doubt our faith, but we don't doubt our doubts.

Think about how true that actually is. We question our hope constantly. Is this too good to be true? Am I being naive to trust this? We put our good feelings on trial. But our doubt, our fear, the worst case scenario running on a loop in our head? We just believe it. Completely. No evidence required.

That's fucking backwards, and it's time to flip the script.

Your doubts are not facts. They're stories fear tells you, trying to protect you from something that, more often than not, was never actually coming.

5. Anxiety isn't a personality trait. It's an addiction to the drama of disaster.

I recently went to a celebration of life for a woman we all loved. Beautiful speeches. A beautiful ceremony. And in between all of it, the conversation kept drifting back to what was going wrong. Who was being difficult. Why didn't this go the way it was supposed to.

We were at a celebration of life, and we chose to talk about the mess.

I'm not judging anyone there, myself included. But our bonding currency has become complaint. We do it in the break room, the group chat, the phone call with your sister. We've trained our bodies to crave the next reason to feel that adrenaline, and then we call it "just being anxious" like it's just who we are.

It's not who you are. It's a pattern your body learned. Patterns can be unlearned.

How to Catch Worst Case Scenario Thinking Before It Runs the Show

Here's what I actually want you to take into your week.

Step 1: Catch the story before you believe it

The second you notice you're bracing, pause and ask, is this story even true, or is it just the loudest voice in the room?

Step 2: Ask what could actually go right

We default to questioning what's not going to work. Flip it. What could actually work here?

Step 3: Notice which lens you're choosing

Same circumstance can be met with trust or fear. You don't get to control every circumstance. You do get to choose the lens.

Step 4: Question your doubt the same way you question your hope

If you'd interrogate a good feeling for being "too good to be true," give your doubt the same scrutiny. Ask for its evidence.

Step 5: Let something bigger hold it

Control is what you reach for when you've stopped trusting anything outside yourself. Practice loosening your grip, even for five minutes.

And here's the loving truth I want to leave you with. Thirteen years I lived braced for a disaster. Heart attack, stroke, being left somewhere alone with no one finding me. None of it. Not one time. Ever happened. It was an illusion the whole time, and I didn't know how to stop believing it until I started asking it to prove itself.

Common Patterns to Watch For

• •Bracing for a disaster before you have any facts. Your brain fills in the worst possible ending before the situation has even finished happening.
• •Bonding over what's going wrong instead of what's going right. If your group chats, your break rooms, even your celebrations run on complaint, that's conditioning, not truth.
• •Holding secret expectations of the people you love. Then getting quietly furious when they don't read your mind and meet them.
• •Believing every doubt as fact while treating every good feeling as suspicious. If hope needs proof but fear gets a free pass, that's the pattern worth naming.

None of these mean something is wrong with you. They mean something got trained. That can get retrained.

Reflect on This

• Think of the last time something went wrong. Did you go straight to worst case scenario? What did that voice actually sound like in your head?
• Do you question and doubt your dreams, your peace, your hope, more than you ever question your doubt?
• Why do you still feel anxious after therapy, after years of doing real work, when this exact pattern shows back up?
• What's one doubt you're carrying right now that you've never actually challenged? Could you challenge it today?

I would love to hear. Send me a DM and tell me what your worst case scenario voice actually sounds like in your head.

Resources Mentioned in This Episode

• My friend Nikki Dean, who's been a guest on the show twice. If this episode hit something in you, go find those conversations too.
• The Self-Love Chamber, a live, in-person hot seat event I'm hosting October 3rd and 4th. Twenty women, two days, $47. We get to the root subconscious program underneath the fear, the worry, the panic, together. Seats are capped at 20 and once they're gone, they're gone.
• Your free tool: If you're already bracing for something before it's even happened, start with the Free 5 Minute Nervous System Reset. It's a guided reset you can use the second that worst case scenario voice shows up, before it gets to finish the story.
• If you're further along and this pattern still catching you is the part that's frustrating, not the panic itself, let's map out where it's actually living. Book a Freedom Roadmap Session. No pitch. No pressure. Just clarity.
• You can also find more episodes like this one on the FVCK Anxiety podcast page anytime you need a reminder.

Work With Me

If you've done the work, you know the tools, and this pattern is still finding a way in, that's not a sign you failed at healing. That's a sign there's a deeper layer still asking to be seen.

In my 1:1 sessions, we don't stay on the surface of "manage your anxiety better." We go straight to the subconscious root, the place this fear has actually been living, probably since long before you had language for it, and we change your relationship to it there. Not around it. Through it.

What changes is simple to say and hard to fake: the bracing stops running the show. You get to meet a hard circumstance and actually choose your lens instead of defaulting to panic.

If that's what you're ready for, let's map it out together on a Freedom Roadmap Session. No pitch. No pressure. Just clarity.

And if this episode met you where you are, do me a favor. Follow the show, download it, and leave a review on Apple Podcasts so another woman who feels exactly like you do can find it.

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